They are one of the most amazing couples I met her in reddit. The GF reached out to me asking if she can experience yoni massage too. I can feel she’s really uptight with all her inquiries (Yes, even from line of questioning I can feel if a woman is too anxious). It is a normal respond of a woman who will experience the yoni massage for the first time to be anxious. With all the questions she had covered, one thing intrigued me: she is the one interested in yoni massage but she is also the one too anxious about it. Usually woman are too anxious if it is the guy’s idea and she just agreed. This is an interesting scene for me. We meet few days after. All of my expectations were correct. They have different sexual polarity. Sexual polarity refers to the chemistry, tension, or charge between people with opposite energies: feminine and masculine, yin and yang. This idea is based on the premise that everyone has feminine and masculine energy within them. (You can think of it as having the right and left brain and needing both parts to thrive.) Most of the time, people have a preference for one of these energies sexually. More polarity there is between you and your partner, meaning more masculine is one of you and more feminine another – more chemistry you’ll experience. People with feminine essence prefer to be ravished, taken (sexually), while those with the masculine one feel at home taking charge and being “the ravisher.” You can think of Feminine being the ocean while Masculine being the ship. The ocean might be calm and pleasant one moment only to turn rough and stormy the next. But if it’s a good ship, it is steadily going towards its destination regardless. It knows that the ocean is chaotic by nature, and it’s pointless to hold it against it. Feminine energy is the energy of change, receptivity, chaos, creativity, flow, vibrance. Feminine comes alive by feeling the fullness of life and love. Masculine energy is goal-oriented, driven; it is the energy that is identified with emptiness, death, consciousness. Masculine loves challenges. -(https://sfsexcoaching.com/sexual-polarity/) I already set the expectations to them that I am there to focus on the woman as the center of all the pleasure. But that’s a really hard task if the woman is too anxious about the session. To handle this kind of situation, my first priority is not to make her overthink which would eventually go to spectatoring. (Spectatoring is essentially the opposite of being "in the moment" during sex. You are so busy analyzing the situation and judging yourself that you can't fully enjoy the sexual experience—instead, sex becomes a spectator sport. Often, spectatoring can cause anxiety or even sexual dysfunction. But at the very least, it's a libido killer; research shows that women who engage in spectator sex are less satisfied, have fewer real orgasms, and have more fake more orgasms. -(https://www.instyle.com/news/what-is-spectatoring-during-sex-how-to-stop)) Tips for the woman not to go on overthinking in bed: 1. I knew that woman’s psyche has no control over their thinking. The more we say don’t do it, they will. First thing she will think is I may record their whole session on camera. My solution: I never go to a room before a woman. They are either in the room already, or we book a place together. Guys, the thought will always wander in their heads, so instead of battling their thoughts prevent it beforehand. 2. I play relaxing music. First reason, to get them relaxed and be in the mood (imagine her lying there with my breathing and her breathing the only things she can hear, that’s a breeding ground for overthinking). Second, how can I record if my phone is playing some music (another reinforcement for point no. 1) 3. Changes in temperature. This should be done carefully. Make it too cold and you will have a longer time to arouse her, make it too hot and her mind will be on overdrive again. 4. I talk to the woman. I seldom do this because it is counterintuitive to make a woman relaxed while you are talking to them. But the talk make the session personal and not transactional. That’s what is necessary for her during that time so that she will become more comfortable with me and my touch. 5. Tell her what you will do next. It is again counterproductive on my part to remove the element of surprise. But there are woman out there who would want to know what would happen first. The key is for them to be comfortable with your words. Like when I say “hindi pa ito ang pinakamasarap na part”, then she will look forward for more. Hindi ko nmn sinasabi buong details, when she’s relaxed and comfortable na, the surprises can be introduced one by one. 6. I let her touch my genitalia to show that it doesn’t affect me when I touch her genitalia. Again, another thought I would occasionally battle is that “minamanyak ko sila”. But them being reminded that I am not turned on while I am doing the massage to them make her assured that I will not jump on her and do crazy stuffs at any given moment, and in turn put their minds at ease. 7. Be patient and go through the whole process with her. The surest way for her to “be in the moment” is to assure that “someone is with her in the moment”. I even invited the BF to be her headside while I massaged her pussy. This is her moans when the husband kissed her breast and lips, while I massaged her other lips. (The music is not too loud, but the BF placed his phone too close to my phone while recording the moans of her gf). Finally she attained her very relaxed state, I know she had experienced a lot of her joyous peaks during this state. I just reinforced it that these are the things you can achieve if you are fully relaxed.