I was recording live one night, and after I was done all my scripts for the day, I decided to tell my listening sluts they could listen in if they'd like while I made some moans I needed to make those scripts *extra* special.
I... have a dirty little secret.
When I know you are listening, I get excited.
But after 10 minutes of moaning, getting into it and knowing some of you were there listening to me- Well. I guess I just felt a bit inspired.
And as a result... I just let my topspace take the lead and started saying dirty things, and this JOI is the result.
I know you're listening. Be a good boy and take your cock out for me.
You’ve gone through the trouble to come all the way to the base to see McCree, and you’re not leaving without getting something special.
Contains: Dirty talk, Sex, Oral Sex, Semi Public Sex, Almost Getting Caught, Doggy Style, Implied Listener with a Vagina (No use of gendered pronouns or genitalia however)
It’s another commission audio! This was commissioned and written by @theblueringoctopussy on tumblr!
This audio has been tagged as implied listener with a vagina, mostly for sounds and a few of the lines that McCree says, but there’s no gendered pronouns or genitalia reference in the audio. However, I would suggest reading over the script before listening to be sure nothing is triggering for you! I’ve marked the lines in bold in the script below!
~Audio Transcript Below~
McCree: -Next time around we should probably send Genji in first, get’em to sweep the small fries and I’ll come in with-
McCree: I have a what now? A visitor? How did they get past- okay, okay. I’ll be right back y’all. Don’t go assigning me to nothing silly while I’m gone!
McCree: What are you doing here? You know I don’t like it when you come to headquarters, it’s way too-
McCree: You wanted to bring me lunch? Well shoot, and here I am being an ass to you, darling. I’m sorry.
McCree: Haha! No you’re right, I know I don’t deserve you. You’re always too good to me. How’d you get past the guards anyway?
McCree: Sweet talked em? Well you are a sweet talker. Probably ‘cause you got such sweet lips…
McCree: What are you?-
McCree: Oh, I see you didn’t just wanna bring me lunch. Well, let me show you how thankful I am for you coming by. We just gotta We gotta We gotta be quiet, believe it or not the walls are thin as hell.
McCree: Sit down on that the desk for me. It’s alright, just push that aside, those papers aint that important. Reyes is always pissed, babe. Now go on, I gotta get back to my meeting.
McCree: Now let’s get these pants off. And… your underwear… Open your legs for me… there we go….. You came all the way down here to bring me lunch, be a shame if I let it go to waste. I gotta dirty mind? Well I guess I can Heh, that’s what a thought…
McCree: Shhh shhh, not so loud baby. There we go. That’s it sweet heart. Mmmm. Fuck you’re just about ready for me, sweetie. How long did they have you waiting in here for me? Too long I’m guessing. All by yourself, thinking about all the stuff you wanted me to do to you when I got in. I’m sorry for making you wait.
McCree: Fuck, If I don’t stop now I’ll be eating ya out all day. I know you were close, I know, just don’t gotta lot of time. Look, gimme your hand. You feel that? You feel how hard I am for you? I ain’t tryna rush you out. Hell, I’d be lying if I said I never thought about this before, especially when I’m stuck down here weeks on end. Just you bent over my desk with your pretty round ass up in the air. Oh yea? Heh, well then, go on bend over for me.
McCree: Shit, this is better than I imaged. Thank you, baby. Hmm…. You ready? Okay, I’m just gonna Oh yes… That’s it. Let me get you off baby.
,
McCree: Shit. Okay. Maybe… fuck. Maybe this is gonna be – be a lot. Oh fuck. A lot harder than I thought. This feels so fucking good. I know it feels good for you.
McCree: I know, cause you can barely keep your voice down while I touch ya. Does my cock feel that good? Or is it getting you off, me fucking you on my desk. The idea of someone catching us? Fuck. Shhh shh you don’t want no one else hearing those sexy noises you make?
McCree: Don’t think I’ll be able to go back to my meeting after this, I -fuck. Oh god you feel so good baby.
McCree: I know what I said, I just- You make it so hard baby. Come here There you go, how’s that feel. Your back pressed up against your back, good right? And I can Get you off easier- fuck, that’s it baby. Cum for me.
McCree: Oh fuck, I feel it. Squeezing around me like that. You’re almost there baby. Come on. You’re doing so good, baby, you’re right on the edge. Aw fuck. So am I. I just need you to cum – What’s that what now? The blinking light,What are you, the phone! Had it on silent-Crap crap that’s probably Reyes just, hand it to me.
McCree: Yes Sir. No sir I’m just seeing off my- I know I know, I-
McCree: Damn i- No not you sir I just Hmmhmm. Hmmmmhhmmmm. Got it, won’t let it happen again. Okay, I’ll be back soon.
McCree: No you didn’t get me in trouble, but I know someone who is. You, backing up against me like that, god so fucking bad. But damn if I don’t love it when you’re like this. Now where were we? Oh yea-
McCree: Fuck baby, you’re squeezing around me so tight again. What do you need baby? What do you need for me to get your off? You need fingers to go faster? My cock to go deeper? What is it, you tell me and it’s all yours baby. Whatever you need. I’ll give it. You do so much for me, baby. Anything and everything. You know it’s yours. Fuck- I know you’re ready to cum. I am too, baby. Come on, come on, come on, come on – oh fuck.
McCree: Jesus…. We gotta do this again… Don’t worry about the mess, I’ll clean it up. Hey now! Just cause I mix the laundry up doesn’t mean I can’t clean. That was one time. Besides, I think my draws look better lavender anyway. Pants are over there Heading home already? Damn, wanted to eat lunch with you while you were here, don’t know when I’ll be back home next. I know. We’re regular ships in the night sometimes, I swear. Okay, you be safe too then. Love you too, baby. Let me at least walk you out. I can be a gentleman, jeez.
McCree: Boss! Shit- Hey, I’m just walking out my – Yes sir. The paperwork on the floor, just a little- What do you need to talk to me about? Can’t I just- Confidence, time sensitive, got it. Alright, I guess Security can walk’em out. You okay with that, hon. Alright, I’ll see you later then. Love you.
McCree: Come on, what couldn’t wait I at least walked them to the gate? How long we got till we take off? Shit, well, at least I got something to eat on the ride there. Hmm? Oh I- I don’t know what you’re talking about we were- Shit- yep. No. No, you’re right Boss, I don’t think I can really explain away those underwear on the floor either…
The script text begins here.
Heyoo what’s up ugly!
-
My mother? Cruel.. I’m telling her..
-
Mhm yea yea yea so what’s up. No hot date tonight?
-
You left early? What a bitch
Owww! What!? that’s rude! Why did you leave?
-
Don’t wana talk about it? Oh come on don’t be so dramatic you tell me everything..
-
Ok then what are you doing here then since you wana be all sensitive today.. you’ve come to the wrong place if you wana be all girly and emo
-
Well THAT I can do. I’m a great distraction What do you wana play?
-
Mario cart is lame now.. pick something else
-
No we played it out by now I have more games you know
Yea let’s play _________
You want your usual spot? bean bag chair?
-
You smell nice.. hmm that’s new.. you really did have a date huh?
-
What? Normally you smell like fucking old spice
-
So did you bring us some brewskies ooorrrrr
-
What did I tell you about coming over empty handed dweeb.. I’d make one of the guys leave and come back with an offering of sorts.. no weed either?
-
You know just because you’re a girl I’m not gona be nicer to you or something.. i should still make you go
-
Hey hey relax I’m joking sit down. 2 years hanging in the dorms and you still don’t get my humor? Here’s your schtick cry baby.. choose your character.. I’ll even let you pick the map
-
Hmm not bad.. i can work with this.. so uhh, you gona tell me what—- hmm?
Oh Destiny? It went really well I’d say.. only problem is the girl won’t give me space.. we slept together once and she’s always texting me and sending me snaps and flipping out on me if I don’t immediately respond to them like OKAY nice titts babes I’ve told you a million times.. sending me nudes constantly isn’t gona make me move you higher up in the rotation, it’s just putting you in the clinger category
-
Hey hey dude you’re gona get us killed watch my back!
-
Yea I noticed you’re kind of off your game
-
What? I’m not a douche bag.. I was upfront with her about not wanting a relationship n shit.. not my fault she got herself dickmatized
-
Oh come on how do you know that?
-
Oh I forgot you two are in that girly little horny group chat
-
Ppfffff I mean that’s just my signature move
-
No not even! Ok look I just have a thing for eye contact or whatever so like even if I’m hitting that shit from the back I like to turn their head around and make them look into my eyes.. and sue me I like to makeout while I fuck..
-
That’s not all THAT intimate it’s just good sex that’s not making love.. sometimes I like to fuck slow and take my time. I’m an artist that’s all..
-
That’s the kinda shit that makes girls needy? Well what am I supposed to do start handing out whack dick?
-
Hey you might wana grab that health pack my guy you’re a little low on the life support
-
Hold up we’re SUPPOSED to be talking about YOU what the fuck did you leave your date for? And if you say you don’t wana talk about it I’m kicking you out ok? That’s such un-bro like behavior.. and you’re gona harsh the vibe dude this is the—-
I wasn’t gona say Mojo Dojo Casa House I was gona say—- no fuck you this is TOTALLY a Mojo Dojo Casa house and you’re gona ruin the Kenergy with your girly moodiness so what’s up.. spill it right now bro-tato chip
-
Wait you left DURING the….. nah nah wait I’m pausing the game.. no no no cuz that’s wild.. you left DURING the sex? Like during foreplay or did he like go inside and——
-
WHAT? It’s not weird! You wana be a dude bro so bad dude and this is how we talk.. you don’t get to pick and choose give me the deets.. controler down!
-
It was THAT bad?
-
Gott damn he nutted after 3 pumps? You’re exaggerating right? Pfffffff
-
I’m SORRY! I’m sorry ok ok start from the beginning you went to his place, okay? Then what a couple drinks? Makeout sesh?
-
Y’all sat there awkward?
-
Oh you initiated the making out..
-
Shitty kisser? Damn.. ok then?
-
Ok grinding in his lap classic,
-
Blow Job right away? Good girl! What about him did he—-
-
Dude… he didn’t eat you out?
-
What do you mean an attempt was made!
-
Fuck ok the bad kissing should have been pretty telling.. proceed?
-
Fingering felt like a rodent clawing at your uterus? Jesus Fucking Christ so I’m assuming you’re barely damp at this point with garbage foreplay but I’m assuming he still went for it
-
So literally 2 pumps and then he assumes you’d stay for him to get it back up.. God.. you seriously attract such losers.. stop wearing boys deodorant maybe that will help huh?
-
Oh my God dude no I just mess with you all the time you’re not ugly just funny lookin..
-
Ok ok hold on I’ll be real for a second.. you’re very very cute.. you don’t dress that well but I could always tell you had BODY under there.. like those titts are hella bouncy.. and maybe once or twice I’ve seen your ass jiggle when you wear my baggy basketball shorts when you get too wasted and need to stay the night.. trust me that’s not the issue.. I think the issue is that you’re TOO hot but you don’t realize it so you keep throwing yourself at these inexperienced losers
-
Maybe If you finally get you some good dick you’d set your standards higher I mean Jeese how do I look as your best friend if i associate with the girl who dates weenies
-
What do you mean noone with good dick wants to fuck you.. you haven’t even tried.. I would uh.. i mean if it were a different circumstance..
-
Wait what? Hey what are you—- OH MY—- dude why did you just come over here and shove your hand in my pants
Oh Fuck that feels good. Wait wait isn’t this like weird? Or like crossing some sort of unspoken boundary?
-
Oh you’re full on stroking it… ok listen.. LISTEN I’m only gona be a gentleman for like another 30 seconds..
-
Alright this is what you want? Take these off.. the jeans pull them down..
-
Yea no don’t sit on my lap yet lay on the couch right here.. mhmm panties too..
-
Homies can give eachother head don’t be weird bro have you never had your pussy licked correctly before? Exactly today is that day.. open up..
-
nah your legs goof ball spread them
-
Good girl.. I mean.. sorry.. so listen don’t be afraid to guide me or anyone for that matter ok keep your hands on the back of my head so if I move while it feels really good you can guide me back to that spot ok?
-
Yea like that.. damn you have a really pretty pussy by the way dude.. nice.. and it smells good too
Dude it’s just us you can moan for me.. lets me know if I’m doing a good job
-
Mhmm feels good right there huh
-
And then if I flick my tongue really fast like this
-
There she is
-
And I like to slurp my way up and down your whole pussy a little
-
Hmmm
-
Nice huh?
-
Mm what about this?
Yea I know i know but open your legs.. come on you can take it
-
It’s the suck and swirl.. it’s intense I know it’s my finisher I can do this as long as I need to come on baby girl.. let me in
-
There you go
-
Don’t hold your breath ok? Let it wash over you
Mmmmm see?
-
You ok champ? Ha good!
-
Ok then let me get up I think my knee is gona fall asleep.. so like I said maybe now, you’ll—- what? Oh that.. yea I get hard when I eat pussy.. plus you’re like.. hot and your whimpers are cute it’s whatever..
-
Nah nah it’s cool ! Just wanted to lend a helping hand.. or mouth. Or whatever. Plus I just like eating pussy..
-
You wana…. You wana sit on it? Hey look you don’t have to that’s not what I—— oh.. shit right in my lap huh? Ok fuck it come here
Pull it out of my sweats
-
Mhmm.. sink down on it.. hey hey slowly please this isn’t your fucking dildo
-
Oh goddamn you’re so fucking slippery and gushy and mmmmmm tight!
-
Yea rock back and forth a little.. uh huh that feels really fucking good.. take your time.. go faster when you’re ready ok?
-
Yea you are you’re doing really good..
-
Yea you wana go faster? Go ahead
-
Ok fuck..
-
Yea I see why those losers cum too quick..
-
Fuck baby!
-
I uh I mean dude
-
Mmmm you tired? You want me to take over?
-
Oh you want me to show you the—-
Ok here we go.. the eye contact thing hop up for a sec and bend over the couch
-
Uh huh good girl and I’m gona slip back in from back here.. hold on ok?
Mhmmm deep huh? Now I’m gona grab you by your face and turn your head towards me ok? Look at me baby look me in my eyes while I pound this pretty pussy
-
Yea I know moan for me does this feel good?
-
You like this don’t you
-
Little slut for eye contact now aren’t you
-
Yea talk to me baby..
-
Yea fuck you? U want me to fuck you harder? Can you take it?
-
Good fucking girl clench that pussy for daddy..
Yea that’s my girl
You gona make me cum?
Yea? You sound so cute when your voice is all shakey like this from being bounced all over the place on my cock you know that?
-
-
Yea you feel amazing.. seriously!
-
Fuck you for throwing this good pussy at weirdos this is prime real estate right here
-
Don’t you dare waste this pussy anymore you understand me?
-
Say it
-
Tell me you understand
-
Mmmm ok I’m gona cum.. fuck.. umm where should I umm..
-
Wait what?
-
Oh you’re on birth control?
-
Fuck yea you want me to cream in that pussy? Who knew you were such a cum slut I love it
Ok ok I can’t even.. I need to——
Oh shit.. that was.. wow I haven’t cum without a condom on in ages… FUCK that was amazing..
-
Who me?
-
Oh you get it now huh?
-
Hey don’t start acting all annoying like Destiny ok?
-
Yea yea I know I’m just making sure..
-
ME don’t be weird? Oh Fuck you!
-
So it was good for you too?
-
Awesome..
-
U wana like.. clean up and walk to the liquor store on the corner?
-
I mean I gave premium best friend services I think the least you can do is supply us with some beers
-
Ok good.. cuz I can STILL kick you out you know.. if you would have said no.. you’re not above the law missy..
-
Hmm? Oh God see now you’re being weird! I called you baby girl IN THE MOMENT it’s like a reflex I still think you’re stupid ok!?
-
Hey wait ugly? I’m not.. you think I’m—- oh you think you’re funny huh?
-
Yea yea guys get insecure too fuck you.. let’s go dweeb
————Fin———-
A story with a reason for being that will have accomplished its reason, if you’ll let me tell you a story… Audio recorded by myself, Moosezilla; script written by the exceptionally skilled Scalar7th, whose work can be found at @Scalar7th/
Transcript is available upon request.