Hello??
Are you there?
Crap, voicemail.
You didn’t answer. Actually, maybe I’m glad you didn’t answer.
Ok, so.
Oh god, maybe I shouldn’t….
Maybe I’ll just hang up.
Oh, but if I just hang up you’ll just hear me being confused.
You’ll just have these ramblings and maybe that’s worse.
Ok, I guess I’m doing this.
Where do I start?
I don’t know where to start.
Start at the beginning I guess.
Do you remember when we watched the fireworks together?
Last week?
Well… it’s like… I mean, I’ve looked at you a million different times. But it was like I was seeing you for the first time.
We were sitting on the beach and the way you looked caught my eye.
Your head was thrown back and you were laughing and your face was lit up by the fireworks and you just looked so happy.
And seeing you so happy made me happy.
And I realised that I’m happiest when I’m with you.
And I feel so silly that I never realised it before.
It’s like it’s been staring me right in the face but I was too close to see it.
And we’ve never taken that step, you know?
It’s like it wasn’t even something that ever entered my mind.
You were always with someone, or I was always with someone, and I guess I never looked at you that way.
You were just my friend, and, to be clear, if this doesn’t go the way I want it to go, I don’t ever want you not to be my friend.
It’s just, maybe…. Maybe we could be more?
And now we’re both single for the first time ever, and I think maybe we’d be good together?
I don’t know.
My head has been in the clouds all week, I haven't been able to focus on anything.
I’ve gotten no work done because I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.
And all the things I like about you.
All your little gestures have been swimming around my mind.
The way you snort a little when something really makes you laugh*.
The way you get those adorable little frown wrinkles around your eyes when you’re really focusing on something.
And the way you always place me on the inside of the street when we’re walking somewhere.
And the way you are so goddamn specific about how you take your tea.
And the way you make everyone feel so comfortable in your presence.
It’s like, It’s like you always know what I need, and you do it without even putting any thought into it.
You take care of me, and it comes as naturally to you as breathing.
Everything about you just makes me happy.
The way you geek out about that podcast you love.
And all those ridiculous graphic tees you own, they just make me smile. And the way you always carry floss because “You never know when something’s gonna get stuck in your teeth. “
The way you always fall asleep every time we put a film on.
Seriously, it could be the scariest horror film and you’re just there, snoring away.
It makes me laugh, how deeply you sleep, I swear the house could fall down around you and you’d happily sleep right through it.
And I’ve been thinking about your hands and how comfortably they’d fit in mine.
And how cosy it is when we’re just chilling on the couch and how much cosier I’d feel if we were in bed together.
Sleeping, I mean if we were sleeping in the same bed.
Oh god, what am I doing?
Am I even making sense?
It’s just, I’ve been thinking about how safe I feel when I’m around you.
I’m able to be completely myself, and honestly, I can count on one hand how many people I feel that way around.
And I love, I love how passionately you talk about the things you love.
I could sit and listen to you wax lyrical about your stupid video games for hours.
The useless lore I have learned because of you will stay in my head forever.
And you’re so funny. You make me laugh so much that my cheeks hurt, and my stomach hurts, and my eyes water, and then I look at you, and you’re laughing too, and we laugh together for what feels like forever, until I have to walk away to catch my breath.
You're just so, so, goddamn cute and I like you so much, and I just want to always be around you.
You’re my favourite person.
I just think you’re perfect, or at least, perfect for me.
Maybe… I think… I hope.
I’m hoping you’ll be my person.
What am I doing?
Anyway, that was me, bearing my heart and soul.
So if you… if you feel the same, let me know, and maybe we could go out?
On a date, I mean. We go out together all the time. I mean I want us to go out.
This is me saying I want to take you on a date.
And… and… if you don’t feel the same that’s ok.
Nothing has to change.
We’ll just carry on the way we’ve always been.
Because your friendship is so important to me.
I don’t ever want you not to be in my life, and whatever way you want to be in my life is fine with me.
Ok, I’m going to go and obsessively look at my phone waiting for you to get back to me.
Call me back, sooner rather than later, please?
Bye.
Thought you might enjoy a laugh track to brighten your day. Be warned, I have a stupid laugh, and I laugh hysterically at everything. :)
The video can be found here, if you want to laugh along:
https://youtu.be/EfHxUaJDEn8
I really enjoyed u/SeveralStepsNeeded's previous script, as it was a great script for my laugh, and when I found out she wrote another one centered around laughing, well, you know I had to do it.
I mean, I could write a lot of stuff, but I think the tags really explain a lot on this, and if you know my laugh, well, I think you know the kind of thing this is going to be.
So, as stated above, I honestly don't think that I can sing. BUT, I'l be damned if I don't enter a contest run by THE Lola, so here I go.
Warning: If you hate laughter, aside from being a fun-hater, this might not be your cup of tea. *Evil laugh* YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.
Oh hey, this is my first post to r/recordings! Go me! :D
~SCRIPT START~
Hey there, stranger. I was wondering where you'd run off to.
You having fun?
...
Yeah, I am for sure. Lotta cool people here tonight.
But you didn't answer my question, you just threw it back at me.
(Sincere) So I'll ask you again, are you having fun?
...
Because you're not a good liar, and you're even less convincing when I can see that you're obviously struggling.
...
(Caring) Hey, it's okay... is it the music?... All the people talking?... The... everything?
...
(Worried) You poor thing... come on, I'm gonna take you away from all this noise and get you some air.
There we go. Just breathe in that night air for me, nice and deep.
...
That's it, breathe with me... in... and out...
Honey... you need to let me know when you're getting overstimulated. I thought I told you that the last time this happened.
...
You didn't wanna bother me?
Hey, you're never a bother, okay? Never a burden. You know I don't want you dealing with this stuff on your own.
Is this better, now that you're away from everything?
...
Better now that I'm here? Great. I love being that person for you.
...
Don't say that, you have nothing to apologize for. I get it, the loud music plus all the new faces... it's a lot. And clearly it was a little too much tonight.
I think you need a break from all this chaos and excitement. Wanna take a walk with me?
It's a beautiful night, and it's so late that we'll have the streets all to ourselves. Could even be a little romantic... what do you think?
...
Awesome. Can I take your hand, or is that gonna make you more uncomfortable?
...
It's alright?... Okay, here... we can walk as slow as you like, you set the pace.
...
Nowhere in particular... we're just gonna walk this off together.
...
No, I don't need your jacket... it's a warm night, I'll be fine like this. Thanks for offering, though... I don't know how you can still be such a sweetheart, even in this state...
Besides, it looks much better on you... I love your style, you know... I mean, you do know, because I'm constantly stealing your clothes.
...
Oh, you're proud of me for wearing my own clothes tonight?... Don't speak too soon, love...
See, I'm wearing your socks...
...
I can't help it, they're so cozy... none of my socks are anywhere near this comfy.
...
Well, I'm glad you don't mind me being such a dirty thief, cause I don't plan on stopping any time soon.
...
Gosh, it's so quiet... like we're the only two people in the world...
(Excited) Ooh, looks like I spoke too soon... hey, little guy!
(Disappointed) Aww, why do they always run off like that?... I guess they're just easily frightened.
I wish I had like a cat translator so I can be like "it's okay, I just wanna cuddle you!"
It was so cute as well, did you see it?
...
No, it wasn't a stray, I saw a collar. That cat probably has a very nice home, and I bet its owners spoil it all the time.
...
Yeah, it was a little chubby... maybe a little too spoiled...
...
(Concerned) What?... What does that look mean, what's the matter?
...
No sweetie, of course you didn't ruin my night. If I found out you were suffering for the whole party, that would have ruined it.
I don't see how hanging out with you could "ruin" anything... it's always a plus in my book.
I love spending time with you, you know that... it gives me the opportunity to do stuff liiiike... kiss your hand...
Do you remember why I always hold your left hand and not your right one?
...
Aww, you remembered!... So I can be closer to your heart...
...
Oh, shut up... it is not corny, it's cute.
You must be feeling better if you're back to roasting me. Is the walk helping to clear your head a little?
...
Good, I'm so glad. I really hate that you have to go through this sometimes.
...
Hey, we've all got our own issues we have to deal with. I'm no perfect specimen either, you know...
You're not crazy, or broken, or anything like that. And I certainly don't think any less of you because of it.
...
Of course I don't. I think you're amazing, in case you've forgotten. Please don't be so hard on yourself... It's not good for you.
You're always so kind to the people in your life... just don't forget to save a little bit of that kindness for yourself as well.
...
Okay. As long as you're trying, that's all I ask.
...
Me?... No, I'm not scared. I mean, I guess it is a little spooky when the streets are empty like this, but I'm never scared when I'm with you.
You always make me feel safe, it's one of the many reasons why I love you.
...
I know you know that, but I feel like I don't say it enough these days, y'know?
When you've been together for as long as we have, you can start to take stuff for granted. Things become... I don't know, more ordinary. I just don't want you to ever feel like I don't still appreciate everything you do.
I still think you're as incredible as you were when I first met you, and my love for you has only grown since then.
Hey, stop walking for a second...
That's why.
No, I'm not drunk!... What, I have to be drunk to kiss you now?
Seriously, I mean it... I love having you in my life. I honestly don't know what I'd do without you. I don't want you to ever forget how special you are to me.
...
(Amused) Wow... all these years later and I can still leave you speechless, huh?
It's okay... sometimes finding the right words is hard. Just squeeze my hand if you feel the same way.
That's all I need, my darling, and it's good to see you smiling again.
...
No, I'm not tired... just felt like holding on to your arm...
...
Oh, look at that. We must have walked in a circle, look... there's the car.
Your chariot awaits, your highness...
...
Nah. Party's are fun and everything, but only when both of us can enjoy them.
What you need right now is rest, calm... and maybe being forced to watch my reality shows with me.
I'll drive us home, okay? I know you're feeling drained and I don't wanna ask too much of you.
I will ask you to do one thing though.
...
Don't worry, it's not a big thing. It's just a promise.
I want you to promise me that the next time you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, you'll let me know.
I know you're a really strong person, and you take pride in that, but it's okay to need a little help sometimes.
And I'll always be here so you can borrow some of my strength whenever you need it.
Hey... what's the hug for?
...
For being me?... Well, aren't you sweet.
How about I'll keep being me as long as you keep being you... how does that sound?
...
Yeah... I like the sound of that too.
~THE END~
You signed up to be a guinea pig for a new pain killer... but there is a potential side effect that needs to be *thoroughly* investigated and it seems like you're one of the (un)lucky subject to help this company test it.
And we are going to keep gathering data until we have a definitive answer.
You should have definitely read that fine print.
coming back to that free use roommates idea again..
we have a deal.. i dont have to pay rent.. you get to use me whenever you want.. (｡>\\<)
today i seemed pent up and bitchy and.. kinda bratty..
you had had enough of that so.. while you were at it you might as well tease me till i admit you're right.. then make it worth my while.... (｡>\\<)
((also if you wanna hear more of my exclusive stuff, get audios early, or make requests i have a patreon @ TeddyBoyAudios)) (plus theres a couple extras this month)
and
Script by u/midnights_door
Mmm, I knew you couldn’t resist me for long. I make you want to do all kinds of naughty things, don’t I?
This is why you called me over here, isn’t it? You wanted a cute, sweet younger boy to help satisfy all those womanly needs that *he* never did.
Women your age may not be considered young anymore, but I know you’ve still got the energy of any girl I could find at school. Maybe even more since you’re… frustrated.
(Whisper) That won’t be a problem for me. Boys my age can fuck. All. Day. Long.
I talked about recording this a couple weeks back... this dark, sadistic audio about a doctor in a mental hospital and the patient he just keeps torturing, just keeps messing with her mind.
"You are such a good little patient, aren't you? And if you're not... well, try to remember the kinds of things I've done to you before"
